There’s nothing like a big, scary, daunting project to send me flying into one of my favorite modes – productive procrastination. You know the kind of project I’m talking about – doing battle with a government bureaucracy by phone, trouble shooting an inexplicable computer problem, assembling the new gas grill with the thirty page instruction book clearly written by a non-native English speaker. Ambivalence prevails. Day after day you do the approach-avoidance dance: put it on your To Do list, block out time on your calendar (Tomorrow, 9am sharp, I’m really going to tackle it.), put it higher on the list, underlined and circled in red. You tell everyone today’s the day. And, still that project doesn’t get done. Not even started.
What is the problem? Why is it every time I approach the project every bone in my body shouts: “Run! Not today.” I just know it will suck me into a quagmire of confusion, dead ends and frustration that will take unbelievable hunks of time out of an already overscheduled life.
This is where productive procrastination kicks in. Horrah for avoidance! Not doing the project leaves so much time to do the eight hundred other things I’ve been meaning to do “when I get time.” Avoiding going in one direction sends me flying in other directions. Avoidance is so motivating. I’ll do anything to justify not doing what I know I should. Guilt drives me to do something productive – something worthy, something needed, something I can tick off the Someday list.
Once in productive procrastination mode, I cheerfully change burnt out light bulbs, email long overdue thank you notes, weed the garden, vacuum the car, clean up my desk and to-file tray (Yes, even I get buried in paper.), and repot the scraggly coleus. I sew on buttons, iron that which no person has ever ironed before, repack the heater I need to return, return the heater, sweep the garage, put up the rack for lawn tools I bought three years ago. clean up my email, and take the mountainous give-away pile to the Survival Center. It feels so good. I’ve accomplished so much and I can see what a difference it makes. I’m taking care of business! I’m productive!!!
Meanwhile, I edge up to that which I am so carefully avoiding. One day I collect relevant papers and the phone number for the bureaucratic call and put them in a tray. A few days later, I skim the papers and a few days after that I make myself review it all and make a plan of attack. Maybe a week later, I get brave, eat a bunch of chocolate and make the call – which of course puts me on hold: “Your wait time is six minutes.” Waiting but mobile – blessings upon cordless phones with headsets – I now have six glorious, unspecified minutes to dust my desk, fold laundry, surf the web or just stare vacantly out the window and contemplate the universe. Six minutes later, when the representative comes on the phone, I know that no matter how frustrating or disappointing the call may turn out to be, I can balance it out by looking at all I’ve accomplished in the process of avoiding it.
